1992: The Calm Before the Storm.

Of significance with "Return of Jesus" is one Sunday evening I recall an "Ancient Prophecies: Nostradamus" special being on like ABC or CBS or NBC or something.  The show made me cry. I think in some ways, back then in prosperity and peace of the 90s my soul knew the trials and TRIBULATION we were heading for.  I knew.  I cried in fear and despair.  I was only like 11 years old.  Little did I know this would be the fight of my life, but I knew.


The show was interesting how the French Revolution soldiers opened Nostradamus' casket and found a sign with the year they opened as Nostradamus predicted.  I guess this is a good time to speak of the X-Files and Unsolved mysteries as well...

There's not much to say except that I was very frightened and connected to them.  I believed the UFO segments more than I ever believed anything.  I expected nightly to be abducted by aliens.  Some nights I would go to bed in paranoia hours early and feel like malevolent spirits were plaguing me.  And actually back in the 1980s not long after my encounter with the Buddhas, I had a night where no one would awake and I saw a full-ghost that I called "Cobra Commander" with a dim-starlight body and a menacing scowl who chased me down the hall into my mother's room.  And she sort of woke up when I was scared, but just kept falling asleep.  The spirit just stuck its head out the door and stared at me malevolently for minutes or what could have been hours.  Eventually the spirit's head looked out a bathroom door connected to my parent's bedroom and stared at me longer.  I was terrified to enter that room for years later.  There was a "Voodoo Doll" my dad had picked up when he took a trip to Jamaica and I swore the spirit occupied the doll.

  I had paranoid visions all through my youth and I now see them as part "being trained" to face my fears by the Tathagata and also the devil trying to break my spirit while it was young and weak, so I had no other choice but to become a spiritual warrior and a natural "acid tripper" and starer into the abyss.  I had to face any and all fears.  I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I knew the world was ending and I had to stop it even if people would call me crazy.

In the late 90s I saw the Matrix in Mérida, Mexico and I identified with its Buddhist themes greatly.  I was heading for college and wasn't really even sure what Buddhism was, it's strange to think of that now because I ended up independently studying Buddhism and Taoism so assiduously when I got into College.  It's weird to try to pin-point the exact moment it all happened, but I laugh, it comes to me now...  In the Spring of 2001 after the night I took Mescaline/LSD....