Big fans of the Libertines, graduated college, quit jobs rather do pizza, maybe UNIteaching then decided going full on music recorded "went to breakfast" with Jay and Casey, met Laura on myspace, Tornado, met Laura on facebook, fell in love writing letters in the fall of '08 during the excitement of the Obama election, meeting her parents, falling out, start of my wanderings, failed insurance job, fling with felicia, first trip to new orleans, trucking, solidifying love for laura and no one else, back to pizza delivery and the dwellers of the twilight void, the rapture, new orleans, bunkhouse on the run, madison everyday is judgment day, back to waterloo with asanga-dan bodhisatva, awaiting the change of 2012 and my return to Laura, the end.
So from being down and out on anti-depressants in 2004-2006, I eventually made a clean break from them with resistance from my psychiatrist and my mother and I finished school. The strange thing about my mental illness was it was always changing shape. I came back from feeling I was mentally handicapped to finishing a bachelor's of arts degree from the University of Northern Iowa in History Liberal Arts. I worked construction for a short time and then got a job with Target Corp. in one of their distribution centers. I would try to move up here to management with my degree for a career job.
But one day working in the hardest part of the busiest section fate got involved and in the spirit of working too hard I tried throwing a box of merchandise on a trailer and it fell onto a fellow employee's head and the although he was okay the next day I was fired. That weekend an old high school friend got married and I met one of his wife's close high school friends and we started a little fling. She was from Iowa, but lived in St. George Utah managing a Fazoli's her uncle owned. I moved out there, but within a month our relationship flamed out. I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart photo lab and rather enjoyed it. Coming back home I found work back at the pizza place and got a job debt collecting which I hated and quit and happily returned to the pizza place and bought a new guitar and amp and wanted to start a new band.
I got my old friends Jay and Casey to write and record some songs that spring that I play to this day. "Went to Breakfast," "My Window," and "Phantom Delivery Driver." I had recorded "Let's Go Make A Deal" the prior spring and I put those four songs up on myspace and because we were trying to be all cool and international like the Libertines and the Strokes I started adding anybody cool on myspace that looked like they liked the music I liked a lot. I tried to get a few people from every country and state, and I never felt bad about promoting like that for small bands, I consider it work like anything else, like restaurant work - you gotta constantly put menus out... You gotta constantly expose yourself on social media.
So I'm looking through the Eagles of Death Metal's friends and I see a page called "Music When the Lights Go Out" and it has some blonde who looks just like the hipster girl from the Taco Bell commercial and she's drinking a beer so I add her. I look at her friends and see some goofy looking black-haired girl sort of in lingerie looking sideways and looking at her page I can see she is completely about concerts. But even better she likes all the same old bands I like, and every band she likes that I don't know about I begin to just know why she likes them and how they have a style that links back to all the old 60s and 70s bands we both love so much. So I added her and told her simply "I liked her band list," and she writes back,
"I like your songs.... All!" And I could tell she wasn't that good at speaking english and I thought it was cute because it gave her an innocence most girls don't have, and if they do have it it's all immature. I loved her large eyes and she was all drinking beer at 17 and trying to be this band aid with her friends, so I said what the hell and told her "I love you." It was love at first sight because she replied "I love you too!!!" I remember my friend at pizza hut the reincarnation of St. Daniel, Dan Hunt was noticing the halo around my head and calling me holy and showing him her pictures on myspace and he gave me this long mystified look like he knew before I did. Dan was and still is really Christian.
So like a fool I told her she should leave Europe and come live with me in my little apartment and we could make music and it was finally too much for her. I mean from the start I told her I expected to scare her off, but somehow she didn't care. I really think and know it was true love from the start. So I kind of blew it off and around then the tornado happened and I moved to Iowa City. I remember before I left I took stock of all the girls I loved and I was trying to picture who I would be with listening to all the love songs I owned I had a vague picture in my mind but it wasn't Laura.
But later that fall before the election of Barack Obama I looked her up again but this time on Facebook and she was like, "Blake I had a feeling you would come back" and I would start writing to her then about music and I was reading a lot and I told her she could be my muse of sorts and I expected it to scare her off, but she said she loved it she said, "Blake, we're like some old married couple..." At that point it hit me like a ton of bricks, but I didn't even want to believe it. I didn't want to be Jesus, but I knew. I didn't want to be Jesus because Jesus isn't cool. But I realized I would be Jesus for Mary Magdalene. And now the only thing I regret is what a coward I was for Christianity for the sake of vain "hipsterism.."
So I began to fall in love with her more and more every time I'd write her a love poem and it wouldn't scare her away. I made sure to space them out through the weeks so I wouldn't over-do it. She told me that winter that she took all my letters and hung them on her wall. It was the proudest moment of my creative career. Still is. Always will be.
So in 2009 something strange happened. I think some date happened nobody really knew about where the world was supposed to end. This may sound psychotic but I'll tell you this sudden chain of events exactly how I perceived it. It was late May 2009 and I was out jogging around Kinnick stadium on the hill that goes down back to Riverside drive and two or three lightning bolts struck me, even in front of people. There was other light storming going on in the sky, but no thunder, they were just these flashes. I went to work the next day and my co-workers said there was a group of people in the lobby who say I was the return of Jesus and they wanted to see me. I replied, "that's all I need" as I was feeling kind of psychotic. I was being watched.
I think a guy came through with a case that contained the ark of the covenant and a suitcase nuke. I was jogging one night and went through George's Bar on a total whim and I think I met Laura's mom and dad. Her dad was a big bald guy drinking a Miller Lite quietly and her mom looked just like her with a big old black hairdo and ether was all in the air and everyone was feeling psychedelic. Her mom hugged her dad and told me in her heart that they were together and I saw ether stars all around them when she did this and she said to me, "Well look at the little cradle robber." This was kind of true because Laura was 19 at the time and I was 27.
But her dad nodded over to a table like saying, "she's over there." And I left because figured I should wait and meet her at some other time because I had to work in the morning. It was the stupidest thing I ever did not to walk over there and I won't ever make that mistake again. I looked at her facebook page that night and it had a picture that was all blurred from the ether and I know it was George's bar and the caption read, "Till we meet again." But it wasn't long after that that I made a jealous hot-headed comment on her page and she deleted me from her friends and quit talking to me so much after that.
At this time I started wandering. I quit my job and wandered to Minneapolis and Los Angeles playing guitar on the street. I moved home and was a failed insurance salesman and went through some more jobs and just kept playing on the street and went out trucking for a while. I still wrote Laura, but she only wrote back sporadically but at the same time I felt her presence more and more.
I had a brief fling with another girl and met a bunch of girls in the spring and summer of 2010 who wanted to be my girlfriend but Laura's spirit was taking over my heart and making me a heart-felt person where I never was a heart-felt person before. I began to know. Lightning and thunder storms would thunder and lightning when I thought about other girls warning me not to love anyone else sometimes right beside the house. This would increase. When I'd think of Laura sometimes it would start it raining, even when there were no clouds. This happened in New Orleans a lot.
I went through the rapture like I explained in the "Seven Seals" chapter in May of 2011 and these guys who seemed like pastors or something with Oklahoma State clothes on came up to me while I was playing guitar that weekend and put there hands on me and said, "I think god wants you to do help for them." Now I would have told them directly what was in our hearts, that I am the return of Jesus. Back then I was too afraid of conflict.
Laura wrote me in New Orleans last fall that I should tell people what I write her, and I think that represents all the secret societies that protect her asking her to ask me that because they are ready. I got up my gumption one night and told a bunch of people in a coffeehouse poetry session. It made most people defensive but the strange thing is I know they know, they feel it, they just don't want to be told like it's some sales pitch. For I don't need to be convincing when God was always shooting me with lightning bolts in front of people in New Orleans and I started to notice that when people denied my truths in certain situations lights flashed directly into their soul from the buddhas so they then knew I wasn't telling the truth even though they would still not like me. Mostly because I wasn't likable.
I wasn't sure of myself and awkward and so different. But I've changed so much trying to improve so maybe the powers that be will notice so I can get back to Laura. She really has been such a Muse.
I told my friend Jim this story of sorts in the spring of 2012 in Madison Wisconsin and it brought him to tears a little. Later I told him more about it at his home in Viroqua and even more flashes poured out of me in the night during opportune times where it seemed what I was saying was unbelievable because I was saying I was Jesus and I was Maitreya. Jim ended up more or less saying he believed me. He said he always thought that he was going to be "the observer."
So this pretty much leads up to today. I'm telling everyone. I don't care if you don't believe me, because I know now you will believe me later. I have been through so many miracles and I realize every night in conversation with an "Obi-Wan Kenobi" esque voice within what I need to work on or where I need to go - just like people think of Jesus, talking to God with his mind and telling people what he said.
I will continue to write my experiences as I remember them out of context, but there you go, that's my general story. I await for my story to gain public acceptance and plan to put together a touring apparatus whereas I could pay for mine and my chosen friend's travel and we could meet with people in all the world's cities and debate the dharma and sing songs to rally the love of the holy spirit. Yes, Jesus Christ Superstar Traveling Show. People will hate this idea and easily criticize it, but it is destined to happen. I have vowed to be with no other girl in any lifetime.
I have sat in contemplation and in fear of what this would mean in the afterlife if I am not telling the truth. I told my friend Kyle this the other day and without hesitation he said, "wow man, you're going to hell." But I forgive Kyle for that he will see it later. This reminds me of when I moved home after the Iowa City lightning bolt incident.
A storm was brewing outside my parent's new house outside Janesville, Iowa and the storm was so bad our friend stopped by after he had retreated the golf course and there was a very similar spirit in the air to the 2008 Tornado, and in general it was about a year later...
I looked inside and decided to put this debate to the test. I rode out into the west down the gravel road toward the cloud that was coming. I engendered the "Kick-off" spirit of football Thanatos where I was completely ready and indifferent of whether I would live or die... I was turning it over to the heavenly fathers. And there at the corner of Badger and Bluebird Avenue a single specific lightning bolt struck through me and my first thought was, "....sorry."
Sorry to god for all my doubt. Sorry to the buddhas and that I didn't talk to those people in Iowa City about being Jesus because I thought Jesus was lame. I realized without a doubt I was Jesus and Maitreya from that lightning bolt and I rode around the section and reflected and the storm dissipated and I came back and our neighbor Roger said, "I never saw you make that face..." And I said "oh that's my football warrior face." Everyone was less paranoid because when that lightning bolt hit the storm lost power and went away and so went the spirit of dread in the air that was like the tornado that had destroyed our home the prior year.
I told people on facebook that night I was Jesus but I think everyone took it as a joke. I was struggling with talking about it back then. I figured right then and there all of a sudden I was going to be on TV and everyone was going to accept it. I didn't think I had to tell everyone and in a way I still don't and that even ties back in with the bible. Bob Dylan said it best:
"The truth's in our hearts and we still don't believe."
But we'll see about that. You can think it's not true, but I bet you all those lightning bolts that it is. This has been the tribulation. It is winding down. Soon will be the public recognized second coming and my travels and preachings and songs.
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